“a paediatrician and Centrelink”

Today I bring to you the now regular fortnightly guestpost from Sarah at Creating Contentment. It is a day late in posting – my apologies Sarah! – but is a fantastic read. What is below is a truly honest, heartfelt account that allows you to feel completely in the moment with Sarah and empathise with her feelings. It is a reminder of the power of positive thinking… how negativity can change perspectives of experiences. I really want to thank Sarah for the chance to be let into her world and for taking a risk at been vulnerable. I would love to hear your thoughts, comments or similar experiences, either via posting below this post, on our facebook page {click here} or commenting on instagram (@saregiak – me/FTSSG + @creatingcontentment) …….

be-positive

Recently I had two appointments straight after each other. One was to see our paediatrician for Third, and the next was with Centrelink.

These appointments were made a long time ago. I had made the appointment to see our paediatrician at our last appointment three months ago. Centrelink informed me that I had to attend a meeting with them about a month before hand. I added both to the calendar in my phone, and didn’t think more of it.

Two weeks out, I update our weekly family schedule. It was only then that I realised that I was double booked. Neither appointment was able to be changed. Our paediatrician is booked months in advanced, and we needed to see him before the start of the school year. And Centrelink? Well, it is just too difficult to call and talk to them.

So I had to be at our paediatrician’s at 10.30am. The Centrelink appointment was at 11am. It was near impossible to do both. To make matters worse, the paediatrician’s receptionist called to inform me that he was no longer going to travel to our area to visit clients, but they were willing to a give me the same appointment time and date if I travelled to see him. An hour away. I felt like I had no choice and agreed.

I told myself, and Husband, that Centrelink would not care if I was half an hour to an hour late. I told him that Centrelink would only stop our payments at the end of the day, not immediately, and hoped it was true.

From the moment I wrote up our weekly schedule on the family whiteboard I became anxious. I was worried about the logistics of time and place. I was stressing over the possible lack of income. I was very worried over the possible out come of both appointments.

The paediatrician has this power to take away and give me ‘normal’ and ‘healthy’ children. His words have changed my life before. His words still shape my everyday. In a sense, everything started and stemmed from him.

And Centrelink, they have the power to take our income, to severely change our lifestyle, to change everything.

I dressed the morning of these appointment with trepidation. I was nervous and scared. I wore a big comfy cardigan to keep myself safe. I shared THIS  picture on Instagram.

Someone commented on the picture with these words:

“Think always positive @creatingcontentment get the good vibes going. Don’t ever go into an appointment with negativity and always have an open mind.”

These words really resonated with me. I told her, that she had a good point. A point that didn’t occur to me.

Like you, I am learning.

Like you, I am on a journey.

I often forget where I am going, and what I am doing it for.

I am not naturally positive. I am dark and morose, anxious and fearful. But I am hoping to change my ways. I am trying so hard to change my thoughts. Everyday, I am practicing. Everyday, I am getting more contentment and being a little bit less reactive.

This photo is now a reminded of my general attitude. That I often expect the worse and attempt to protect myself from it. Look at my body language, it is speaking volumes of how uneasy I am feeling.

Reread my words above.

Notice how I am dwelling on the negative in the past with our paediatrician. Notice how I am obsessing about the future. Notice how I judged. These are all easy ways to be negative. Thinking this way is the best way to make yourself feel anxious, stressed and overwhelmed.

It is a reminder that I should look to the positive, that the positive is there. It is a reminder to practice my mindfulness. To focus upon the now. To embrace the possibility of positivity.

And the positive was there.

The paediatrician just wanted to have a chat. He wanted to check that I felt safe with Third going to a mainstream school. He wanted to write letters to the school offering support and assistance. He wanted to make sure that I felt good about the decisions we had made. He was being kind and generous.

Amazingly, so was Centrelink. They were double (triple) checking that my injury was still existent. They wanted to make sure that we were being provided with the full extent of benefits available to us. They wanted to book me in for further appointments in the hope of progression.

And you know what?

I hope that the next time I see Centrelink that I have progressed. I hope that I can begin to see more of the good. I hope that I can be more hopeful.

I’m going to start tomorrow right now.

Tomorrow is the first day back at school for First and Second. It is going to be great!!

What is going to be great for you?

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Thoughts…

Last month I made the decision to concentrate on increasing positivity and gratitude in my life. Life is made of highs and lows, this is nothing new but the way you think can determine not only how you participate in life but how you process these events. With this in mind, I am so happy to introduce to you, a new partnership on For the Style Seeking Girl. My beautiful friend Sarah from Creating Contentment will be sharing guest-posts with you fortnightly, I could not think of anyone better to join us on the journey to creating and maintaining a positive attitude. Read below for her first post called ‘Thoughts’, I can’t wait to read your comments. Thanks Sarah – over to you….

Thoughts are powerful. They construct and inspire.  They have created beauty and amazement. The best things in the world have all originated from thoughts.

Thoughts also form our words, what we say to others. If we are thinking negatively, then we also tend to speak in a way that comes across as harsh, or terse, and without tack. Our words in turn affect our behaviours. If you are thinking and feeling bad, and voicing your sadness, then you are more likely to be physically expressing your distress in your posture and activities. And, if all this continues, then habits are formed. You become more likely to wake up and think those horrible thoughts again. It is a cycle.

Therefore to stop this cycle, you need to start questioning your thoughts.

We tend to believe everything we think. And we shouldn’t, because a lot of the time, our thoughts are not the truth. What evidence do you have to support your thoughts? Often questioning your thoughts in such a way, shows the holes in your thinking.

Thoughts are also constraining and critical. They can be mean and hurtful. They are often nagging and obsessive. Our thoughts spend a lot of time in the past reminiscing or ruminating and in the future, planning and worrying. Even when we are in the present, often our thoughts are comparing and judging.

I think one of the first steps to thinking more positively, is to first notice this.

Start to notice when your thoughts are being negative and run away from you. To help you recognise your negative thinking it is a good practice to label them. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, label it ‘unhelpful’, ‘worrying’ or ‘judging’. Use words that make sense to you.

I find that by labelling my negative thoughts as ‘unhelpful’, it also stops the spiralling, out of control feeling of your thoughts running away from you. In a sense, “I get off the train” and instead watch my thought float away. One practice I use is called leaves on a stream. I have found it really helpful and hope you do to.

Once you become more aware of your negative or bad unhelpful thoughts, you can then start working on replacing them with more kindness and positive affirmations. But it is important to have realistic expectations. It is important to start at the beginning and take small steps. Do not expect to be all sunny disposition tomorrow if you have depression today. It is not realistic. And becoming more mindful of your hurtful thoughts is an important first step of the process to becoming more positive about life and yourself.