Guest Post: Everything is as it should be

Editor: I hope you enjoy this guest post from Sarah as much as I have, I look forward to your feedback.

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These words have been a bit of a mantra of mine of late.

I am running late for a doctors appointment, and traffic is a nightmare. But, it is all okay, because I am exactly where I need to be. Everything is as it should be.

This acceptance that the world is perfect just as it is, is a lovely realisation to come too. The world is perfect in its imperfections. And you are too!

This realisation is a step towards a greater acceptance that I need to come to. I need to accept the autism in my life, that my children are exactly as they are meant to be. I am not there yet. I am not willing to let go of the possibility that I can somehow ‘improve’ them. They need to be better in order to function as adults, and I want this so much for them.

As I said, it is a step forward. A small step, but forward.

I believe that it is easier to start on the inconsequential. If I can accept that we have ran out of coconut flakes, then surely, eventually, I can accept that my pain won’t ever go away. If I can talk myself out of the stress of traffic standing still on the freeway, then there is hope that one day I will accept I was not invited to the wedding of someone who I thought of as a good friend.

Acceptance is tied up with forgiveness. Both are hard. But start small and eventually we’ll get there.

Try to remind yourself that everything is just as it should be and let me know how you go.

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A Dream to Work On…

Hi lovely readers, today is my turn to be a guest blogger on Creating Contentment … you can look forward to regular fortnightly guest blogger posts from Creating Contentment’s Sarah {have you read last week’s called Thoughts … If not, do!} My post today is about an effective way to work on your dreams as well as some suggestions of how to do this.

Here is a little sneak preview:

I know some people who think that having their dreams come true, are life’s little miracles with no or little effort required whilst others believe that hard work is the way to make dreams and our deepest desires reality. There are, of course, many options and ways to interpret this little saying and I want to share mine with you, as well as how I am using that to achieve my own version of dreams coming true.

Taking some time at the end of 2013 to reflect I was able to identify what elements are the most important to me in day to day life. The qualities I found were daily elements of happiness, positivity and reflection. It might sound really basic, but…..

For the full post, click here

Styling Positive,

Kooklah * Sarah

Thoughts…

Last month I made the decision to concentrate on increasing positivity and gratitude in my life. Life is made of highs and lows, this is nothing new but the way you think can determine not only how you participate in life but how you process these events. With this in mind, I am so happy to introduce to you, a new partnership on For the Style Seeking Girl. My beautiful friend Sarah from Creating Contentment will be sharing guest-posts with you fortnightly, I could not think of anyone better to join us on the journey to creating and maintaining a positive attitude. Read below for her first post called ‘Thoughts’, I can’t wait to read your comments. Thanks Sarah – over to you….

Thoughts are powerful. They construct and inspire.  They have created beauty and amazement. The best things in the world have all originated from thoughts.

Thoughts also form our words, what we say to others. If we are thinking negatively, then we also tend to speak in a way that comes across as harsh, or terse, and without tack. Our words in turn affect our behaviours. If you are thinking and feeling bad, and voicing your sadness, then you are more likely to be physically expressing your distress in your posture and activities. And, if all this continues, then habits are formed. You become more likely to wake up and think those horrible thoughts again. It is a cycle.

Therefore to stop this cycle, you need to start questioning your thoughts.

We tend to believe everything we think. And we shouldn’t, because a lot of the time, our thoughts are not the truth. What evidence do you have to support your thoughts? Often questioning your thoughts in such a way, shows the holes in your thinking.

Thoughts are also constraining and critical. They can be mean and hurtful. They are often nagging and obsessive. Our thoughts spend a lot of time in the past reminiscing or ruminating and in the future, planning and worrying. Even when we are in the present, often our thoughts are comparing and judging.

I think one of the first steps to thinking more positively, is to first notice this.

Start to notice when your thoughts are being negative and run away from you. To help you recognise your negative thinking it is a good practice to label them. When you catch yourself thinking something negative, label it ‘unhelpful’, ‘worrying’ or ‘judging’. Use words that make sense to you.

I find that by labelling my negative thoughts as ‘unhelpful’, it also stops the spiralling, out of control feeling of your thoughts running away from you. In a sense, “I get off the train” and instead watch my thought float away. One practice I use is called leaves on a stream. I have found it really helpful and hope you do to.

Once you become more aware of your negative or bad unhelpful thoughts, you can then start working on replacing them with more kindness and positive affirmations. But it is important to have realistic expectations. It is important to start at the beginning and take small steps. Do not expect to be all sunny disposition tomorrow if you have depression today. It is not realistic. And becoming more mindful of your hurtful thoughts is an important first step of the process to becoming more positive about life and yourself.