Guest Post: Goodbyes

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Goodbyes can be difficult. Saying goodbye to someone can be full of heartbreak and a moment of loss.

Of course in our modern technological laden world, a goodbye doesn’t need to be permanent. There are many ways we can keep in contact with someone despite them leaving. This is the joy of social media.

It is time for me to say goodbye. I have written a semi-regular fortnightly guest post for Kooklah for almost six months. It is now time for this stage to come to an end. My blog is growing and I am enjoying putting too much time and energy into it. I want to focus upon my blog in this time of growth. So, unfortunately I need to stop my regular contributions to Kooklah.

I love the style that Kooklah radiates. She is truly beautiful. And, her knowledge! I love this post on embracing headscarfs. I refer to it often and practice at home!

Perhaps one day, I’ll share my writing here again.

I trust that you will continue to be a positive seeking girl. I hope that you will come and visit me at Creating Contentment if you need some more inspiration, but Kooklah is on her own wellbeing journey and can also give you motivation and guidance to become the positive seeking girls you want to be. And you can be! I promise. It just takes a little bit of work, and a whole lot of practice. I speak from experience.

So, smile cause you’re beautiful. You just need to believe it.

Thank you for letting me into your space and reading my words. It has been such a pleasure. I have loved this experience. Writing here has helped me grow and learn. I will always be grateful.

So, goodbye. Take care.

And remember if you want to stay in touch, there are many ways to contact me. xS

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Thankyou to Sarah for this open and honest post, your lovely words will be missed. I wish your own blog well, and look forward to clicking over to read your future posts. KOOKLAH xo

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Step Away

For my guest post on Creating Contentment this week I wrote about a change I have been making lately, a way to remove toxic and negative aspects or people from my life. Hoping to make room for the positive.

Click the link to read it, have you also made some changes?

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Kooklah X.O.

Guest Post: the Forgiveness Challenge

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I have been participating in Desmond Tutu’s Forgiveness Challenge.  Each day you are guided through how to forgive.

The Forgiveness Challenge teaches what forgiveness is and what it isn’t. Forgiveness is not forgetting. Forgiveness is not weak. Rather, forgiveness is an essential part of feeling whole.

The forgiveness Challenge aims to teach you how to bring more love and peace into your life, and help the world heal. This is because forgiveness teaches you to see the humanity in others. That is, despite whatever horrendous acts committed, they too have all the rights that you have.

I believe that forgiveness is an important part of acceptance. When you forgive someone or a situation, you are letting go of the possibility of a different past. Through forgiveness, you let go of the hurt and anger that you are holding onto. It is this hurt and anger that is preventing you from being all you can be. After forgiveness you shall be more able to accept the circumstances of your life. All these steps you have taken, and why you have ended up ‘here’ will become more clear. This is acceptance.

Acceptance is the recognition that you are right where you are meant to be. That the world is as it should be. And with such acceptance, will come contentment.

I like to think of contentment as an ‘equanimity’. The world will feel balanced. You will feel … not necessarily in control, but safe. Loved. Guided. Contentment will bring with it an understanding that bad things will happen, but they have a place, and that this too, shall pass. Contentment will allow you to always see all the good, despite the bad.

The Forgiveness Challenge started officially on the 4th May and runs for 30 days. I am only up to Day 6 of my Forgiveness Challenge. I am taking it slow. I am doing this because at times is is emotionally overwhelming. But, it is also because, I like to be doing multiple things at once. I have learnt that the ability to switch from one project to another is what keeps me interested and motivated. Ultimately, I think it is more important to complete the Challenge, to go through this process of forgiveness. I want to give it the attention it deserves, and sometimes I do not have the mental space or the physical time I wish to donate toward the Forgiveness Challenge. And so, I am taking it slow.

We have been asked to choose one person to forgive. One person to focus our learnings upon. One person.

I choose myself.

I need to forgive myself for so many bad choices. I need to forgive the situations I ended up in. I need to stop blaming myself as it is just hurting me. I am only causing myself damage. And it is now time to heal, to let go and to move on.

And, I wanted to extend an invitation for you to join me. I want you to take this step in healing yourself, and healing the world with me. I want you to do it because I believe that you will benefit, and I’d like the company.

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Thanks Sarah for this guest post, I am definitely going to consider participating in this.. Kooklah.

 

Guest Post: Let go of your results

Sarah from Creating Contentment has a fantastic post for us to read today. I can identify with what she has written and have been working hard to let go of certain aspects myself… I hope you enjoy the read, and look forward to your comments.
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Make your plan, do your best and lt go of the results.

This is the art of surrender.

This is also, mostly a letter to myself. A list to remind myself of what is needed. But, I’m assuming that my experiences are not unique. As different as each individual is, I believe that there is a common thread between us. I believe that the human experience, that is what it means to be human, is the same, regardless of status, location, age or gender.

So, we need to surrender to the world, to fate, to the gods or whatever you call it. To recognise that the future cannot be manipulated into how you anticipate it occurring.

This is about letting go of control, of going with the flow. Of freeing up constraints so to open yourself up to opportunities.

It is also means that you need to recognise that you cannot control how others perceive you. That your best may not be reflected in the best result. And that this is okay.

Surrendering is difficult. It is recognising your fallibility, that you are human and are capable of vulnerability and regret. It is hard because you need to face yourself honestly, to see your faults and your strengths.

You need to let go off your results.

I mean this literally as well as metaphorically.

Study your best, put in all your effort and then let it go. The mark you receive is out of your control.

Eat well. Make good choices. But good health, or weight loss is ultimately out of your control.

We need to not worry about the future. It only stirs anxiety and stress, creating a mental darkness that swamps our present day pleasure. Don’t let a possible negative outweigh the present moment.

All this is a learning curve. It is hard. I am struggling with it. I don’t want to see my faults. But only when I can see them, only then can I improve.

This is acceptance. This is accepting myself as I am, warts and all. This is the possibility when you let go of your results.

Do you beat yourself up when you don’t perform the way you hoped? Or are you good at letting it go? Any tips for me?

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Talking Happy

Hi Gorgeous readers,

This week my guest post for Creating Contentment focuses on happiness and talks some more about the 100 day challenge I wrote about in 100 Days of Happy. Click over to read it, I have included a small excerpt below:

For the past eleven months I have been on a journey to restore balance, positivity and happiness in my life. This has included creating Project 2014 ‘For the Positive Seeking Girl’.  I have found I become so easily influenced by the negative experiences and want to break this cycle …

Kooklah Xo

Guest Post: Everything is as it should be

Editor: I hope you enjoy this guest post from Sarah as much as I have, I look forward to your feedback.

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These words have been a bit of a mantra of mine of late.

I am running late for a doctors appointment, and traffic is a nightmare. But, it is all okay, because I am exactly where I need to be. Everything is as it should be.

This acceptance that the world is perfect just as it is, is a lovely realisation to come too. The world is perfect in its imperfections. And you are too!

This realisation is a step towards a greater acceptance that I need to come to. I need to accept the autism in my life, that my children are exactly as they are meant to be. I am not there yet. I am not willing to let go of the possibility that I can somehow ‘improve’ them. They need to be better in order to function as adults, and I want this so much for them.

As I said, it is a step forward. A small step, but forward.

I believe that it is easier to start on the inconsequential. If I can accept that we have ran out of coconut flakes, then surely, eventually, I can accept that my pain won’t ever go away. If I can talk myself out of the stress of traffic standing still on the freeway, then there is hope that one day I will accept I was not invited to the wedding of someone who I thought of as a good friend.

Acceptance is tied up with forgiveness. Both are hard. But start small and eventually we’ll get there.

Try to remind yourself that everything is just as it should be and let me know how you go.

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Clutter + Mental Clarity

For my fortnightly guest post for Sarah at Creating Contentment I shared something I learnt in the last two weeks, how clutter can affect our state of mind. Find an excerpt below, then click the link to head over to Sarah’s blog to read the rest… Don’t forget to let me know what you think! Kooklah Xo

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It was during this week, as I was coming and going from work, with a few piles of belongings I was sorting through and some deconstructed furniture lying around that I felt really low… I found the clutter only added to my frustration, it made me feel dragged down and overloaded.

I have come to realise that our mental state is very much influenced by the area in which we spend the most amount of time. This realisation is fantastic and such a positive step in my journey.

Happy mind, happy life.

For the rest, click the link at the top of the post. Have a brilliant day…